Excitement and apprehension. I can’t tell the difference between them when I embark on a new learning project. I'm curious, nervous, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, speedy and immobilised; somehow all at the same time. Then the doubt creeps in. Stomps in actually, and makes its presence known.
With all that going on, I'm never sure how I manage to start moving in the right direction. Usually I organise myself by getting a hold of new notebooks (with blank pages full of as yet unwritten possibilities) and making lots of notes about the project. I confess to still being a paper and pen person; more often it’s a fountain pen. It makes me somewhat archaic I know.
Last time I did any formal academic study, there was no such thing as the Internet, or eBooks. It’s a different world to explore and navigate. It means that I'm not only focussed on topics, but on the mechanics of finding information in multiple ways. At least I'm willing to have a go at the new forms of digital technology, and while I'm daunted at one level, I love the opportunity to feed my curiosity. My late mother, who was denied access to formal education as a child, had managed to maintain fierce curiosity for the world throughout her life and by personal application, became literate in three languages. Her sense of awe and inquisitiveness for everything around her is a legacy I adopted with ease. I'm sure it will serve me well. What’s really bothering me is the myriad passwords that I need to remember for multiple online access.
I guess I’ll have to write all of them down on paper with my faithful fountain pen.