Thursday, 8 December 2011

The twelve malaise of Christmas





My humble offering for those whose Christmas spirits are sunk in commercial mire...




The twelve malaise of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
An over-budget stressed-out family

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Six ‘sold out’ postings
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Seven bargains begging
Six ‘sold out’ postings
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Eight shoppers shoving
Seven bargains begging
Six ‘sold out’ postings
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family


On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Nine bills arriving
Eight shoppers shoving
Seven bargains begging
Six ‘sold out’ postings
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Ten gifts for loathing
Nine bills arriving
Eight shoppers shoving
Seven bargains begging
Six ‘sold out’ postings
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Eleven heads a throbbing
Ten gifts for loathing
Nine bills arriving
Eight shoppers shoving
Seven bargains begging
Six ‘sold out’ postings
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Twelve bah-humbuggings
Eleven heads a throbbing
Ten gifts for loathing
Nine bills arriving
Eight shoppers shoving
Seven bargains begging
Six ‘sold out’ postings
Five credit cards
Four ‘What to get fors…?’
Three bouts of panic
Two thousand ads
and an over-budget stressed-out family

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